shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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