how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize