i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
