Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
