He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
