somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
