u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
