Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
