so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
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She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
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I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize