hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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