Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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