woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon