come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You smell like stripper and shame
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.