Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
