what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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