I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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