Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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