My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You may now shotgun with the bride
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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