she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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