I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize