Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
