my soul wont recognize me after tonight
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
