i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
