shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
