In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
