So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
