Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
