Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
