Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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