Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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