Your mouth is God's brothel.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
