She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize