summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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