I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
