You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
