I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
