just tell him i said nine months
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
