Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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