She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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