New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
