i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He told me they were just razor bumps!
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
