If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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