You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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