You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Text me some of your sweat
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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