Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
