hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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