I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize