Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
