he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My vagina just clenched in fear
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize