He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
