hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
