Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
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she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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