i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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