Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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