i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
