i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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