at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
