Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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