sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
