Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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