Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
