she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
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I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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